Monday, August 22, 2005

Dreams Within Dream

Someone told me that this is a dead blog, teeheehee, maybe it is. I'm just too occupied to comeback for so often and update this blog. Or maybe it's just an excuse.

The real reason is probably there's nothin too important to write about.

Last night, I had a weird dream. Maybe not really a dream, more like a set of dreams, dreams within dream. Weird, I thought something like that can only happens in movies or fictions.

I was staying overnight at a friend's place after watching a late soccer livecast when it happened. I slept on a couch with my legs on the armrest. Since I was exhausted from a whole day practice (of something, that's not really important to mention), I immediately fell asleep.

Not so long after, I felt like I was awake. Didn't feel too comfortable, because of my awkward position - head lower than my legs. I wanted to move from the couch and sleep at other place. So I tried to get up, but I can't. It was so real, I thought was conscious all the while. I kept on trying and forced to get up. I couldn't move a muscle, except my eyes. I scanned the room and I realized that it was not exactly the room I was before, I don't know what's the difference, it just not the same place, but my position on the couch was still the same. I recite some verses from the Qur'an, I shouted His name, I even did adzan. Then I can move a bit, and a bit more, and more. Finally I can force myself to get up.

My arms were still numb, my legs felt funny. Suddenly I realized that I hadn't yet awaken... I saw my body there lying, struggling to move. My eyes (on the other me) were rolling wildly, panicking. Insticntly I tried to help my other self. I tried to pull my body, my legs, but I couldn't It was like tying to grab smoke or thin air, I didn't feel anything solid on my other body. In just a split second, there's no other me. I was back there again, trapped in my own body, struggling to move. Everything happened again, over and over, like four or five times. It feels like I dreamed then woke up only to realize I was still dreaming. Dreams within dream. Layered dreams.

When I was really woke up, I had to make sure that I really have awaken. Took me a few seconds to think, to feel, to scan the room, breathed heavily. I could feel my limbs, slowly I move my body trying to sit. It's weird that I didn't feel any nervousness again, no panic feeling whatsoever. I feel like I was fully conscious during my dream... dreams.. whatever.

It was a weird experience. Not exactly fun, but I feel... I don't know, excited maybe? Dreams within dream, layered dream, unordinary, but not just a mere fiction. I don't expect to have it again, though. At least not too often.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Back to Changi

Changi again... for the sixth time half this year alone, and not so pleasant experience now.

Well, being honest is not always pleasant, it's good yeah, but sucks still. Just now the GST refund officer asked me how long have I been staying here, if only I lied, he would have given me my refund. Too bad I was honest, then he said I can't get it since I'm not counted as tourist. Crap...

Oh well... honesty, such an irony...

At least I'll be back home again soon.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Tol Cipularang, everybody happy. Sure?

Dulu, kalo weekend, jalur puncak selalu macet. Dulu kalo menjelang libur, jalur puncak selalu merayap. Dulu kalo weekend, pergi ke Bandung lewat puncak serasa neraka (tapi herannya tetep aja banyak sih yg pegi).

Tapi sekarang, udah ada tuh tol Cipularang. Ke Bandung tinggal wesewes, cepet, 2.5 jam, bebas macet, bebas stress.Bebas stress? Bener tuh? Pindah aja stressnya mungkin ya? Dulu kan kalo macet di puncak, ternyata ada lho orang2 yg seneng. Ga percaya? Iya, bener, soalnya mereka bisa ngejajain barang2 mereka. Untuk sekedar memenuhi kebutuhan hidup dan syukur2 bisa ngehibur orang2 yg kena macet, bisa beli minum en cemilan tanpa repot2 turun dari mobil atau bis.

Sekarang? Kendaraan2 pada lewat tol. Yang masih milih lewat jalur puncak pun melaju cepat. Yang dulu merayap, sekarang bisa 70-80 km/jam. Boro2 menawarkan senyum ramah dan dagangan ala kadarnya, ngedeket aja susah...Dulu rejeki meski sedikit dan kadang disertai caci orang2 yg terhalang kendaraannya, masih mau menghampiri. Sekarang, rasanya semakin jauh aja...Jadi pengen rasanya... bilang ke mereka kalo ikut prihatin. Tapi apa juga gunanya, rasa prihatin juga ga bikin mereka kenyang...

Dan sama sekali bukan bermaksud menentang pembangunan tol Cipularang, toh yang diuntungkan juga lebih banyak... Kasihan aja, ga semuanya bisa ikut bahagia... Tapi sekedar kasihan juga ga bantu mereka beli sekaleng susu buat anak2nya.

Mungkin harusnya gw yg malu nulis2 ginian... yah, mungkin gw bisanya segini... Gw malu...

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Going Back Home...

"Where is home?" Dunno.. home is a relative term... here or there, does it matter?

Lucky there's free internet access in Changi, thought I wouldn't be able to write my last blog before I left.

Afer days of hectic schedule (not really, just write it to make it seems cool*), finally the day has come, I'm flying back to Jakarta...

With a question remains in my heart and mind,"Will I find my dream?"

Monday, February 14, 2005

Improving my Javanese here?

No, I came here to study with a hope to enrich my experience and more importantly, improving my English. What do I get after so long? No, not my English, it is my Javanese that is tremendously improved.

As strange as it may seems, why not Mandarin or Hokkien or any other language, why Javanese? Even now I do jokes on Javanese! It's a fact, weird and mysterious ...

Did I go the the right place afterall...? Still, I'm proud ;)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

A world of ignorants

As if this world is not ugly enough without their presence... Yeah, those ignorants.

A couple of days ago, when I was on my way to the Chinese new year fireworks celebration with a friend of mine (which ended up as an ambiguously gay looking couple since we're unable to locate our friends amid the crowds... damn! Where are the girls when we need them the most?), in the MRT on our way there we gave up our seats to a family with a bunch of children, grandma and granddad. That's when this uncaring indifferent unconcerned unsympathetic person came and sat on my seat! Demm, gua pikir dia anggota keluarga yg mo mangku salah satu anak2 itu, ternyata bukan.

Dengan perawakan tegap dan umur yang keliatannya baru sekitar early 30s, tidak terlihat mabuk atau dalam perngaruh hal2 lain, dia dengen enaknya duduk tanpa mempedulikan nenek dan kakek serta cucu2nya. And this s**thead tetep ga peduli dan malah membuang muka pas dikasi tau, akhirnya seorang wanita yang malah berdiri dan merelakan kursinya.

Ternyata orang2 seperti ini masi banyak ya berkeliaran di muka bumi. Ga heran kalo banyak orang ga peduli sama bencana kelaperan, korban perang, pemanasan global, atau bencana2 gede laennya. Lha wong cuman ngasi tempat duduk buat yg lebih butuh aja banyak yg ga mau, atau sekedar buang sampah pada tempatnya, atau mengarahkan kencing dengan tepat di toilet umum tanpa tumpah2 kemana2 bikin jiji orang berikutnya...

Yah, mungkin dengan mengkritik orang2 seperti ini moga2 gua juga bisa ngintrospeksi diri, karna gua sendiri ga sempurna sih. We're still living in this world anyway, not (yet) living in heaven.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Oh no! I read a chicklit! (and actually enjoyed it!)

A couple of weeks ago, a bestfriend of mine told me about a novel. She liked it so much that she's willing to spend her time to elaborate what's inside the book. I don't know that it was because of her extraordinary way of retelling the novel (semangat abis ampe muncrat2) or because I didn't have anything better to do, I ended up borrowing that novel.

It turned out to be a CHICKLIT (short for chick literature...). And what was worse? I actually enjoyed it!

Hahaha, sorry2, bukannya gua penganut machoism, yang sok2 ga mau menyentuh benda2 berbau feminin atau semacamnya, tapi ya itu tadi, namanya aja chicklit, udah pasti dong ditujukan buat kaum hawa. Jadi ya, awalnya rada2 heran juga kok gua bisa enak baca novel ini. Setelah gua pikir2 lagi ...

Gua ternyata enjoy baca novel Cintapuccino, karena gua jadi sedikit lebih mengerti jalan pikiran cewe. Istilahnya sedikit dikasi jendela buat ngelongok gimana kaum hawa melihat dunia ini. Plus cara bertuturnya si Icha Rahmanti yang santai dan make bahasa sehari2 yang bikin novel ini lebih hidup. Nothing extraordinary sebenernya dari inti ataupun jalan ceritanya, tapi kebetulan gua lagi ngga pengen baca yang berat2, jadi ya semakin enjoy aja.

Cover Cintapuccino

Buat yang lom baca, di novel ini dikisahkan ada 3 tokoh utama, Rahmi, Raka dan Nimo. Rahmi udah akan menikah dengan Raka, namun di saat2 terakhir muncullah Nimo yang pernah jadi obsesi si Rahmi selama 10 tahun. Menariknya si Raka merelakan Rahmi buat Nimo. Tapi ga sesimple itu tentunya, banyak konflik dan dilema yang diangkat secara menarik di novel ini (melalui sudut pandang wanita). Gimana dong akhirnya? Si Rahmi mending sama siapa nih? Raka yang terbukti sempurna, atau Nimo yang ia ciptakan sebagai seseorang yang sempurna dalam angan dan obsesinya? Baca ndiri gih, ntar dituduh jadi spoiler kalo dibeberin di sini nih ...

Hal lain yang bikin gua enjoy bacanya, karena gua bisa identify dan connect dengan tokoh2 di novel itu. Terutama gua menemukan banyak persamaan antara kisah si Raka dengan gua (terlepas dari Raka yang ganteng, cerdas, tajir, sukses, keren, dewasa dan bijaksana... lah terus di mana samanya ya?).

Tenang, gua ngga bakal recommend buat baca novel ini kok, tapi kalo sampe punya kesempatan buat itu, moga2 bisa dapet pelajaran dan experience seperti yg gua dapetin dari novel ini.

Akhir kata... aku cinta buatan Indonesia (ga nyambung? biar!)